someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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