Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We're too hungover to prance.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
