Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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