What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
3pm strippers are depressing
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
