It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
