I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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