how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
