Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
