He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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