4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
