I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
