So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
