the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize