you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
