I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
