Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
either way he was missing a nipple.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
