Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
