hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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