how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize
