the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
