Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
