ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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