i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
