i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
NoShamevember. You game?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize