I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
