Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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