It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
