He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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