i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
