so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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