hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
