I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
