True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
being pregnant is like rehab
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
