We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
