you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
