three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
