you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
