Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize