is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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