he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
