Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
