I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so let's talk penis.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize