Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
