i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I died a long time ago.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize