need another drink. this is the easiest way
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
