It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
