The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize