I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize