"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
