I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
