My room smells like vodka and shame
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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