I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
