She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bring me that man meat
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
