he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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