The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
