Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
