Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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