I hope mine doesn't look like that
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
