i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
