I'm lost and stupid without you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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