five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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