Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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